Sometimes I forget that I started this blog to keep friends and family back home updated on what’s going on with me. My blog has evolved since I first started it, but it’s nice to sit down and just write about whatever comes to mind. Alex and I just got back from a 3-week whirlwind trip to the US. Apparently we brought the good weather back with us because we have been enjoying some amazing blue skies and sunshine-y days in Beijing recently. We’re a couple weeks away from his green card interview in Guangzhou, which is both super exciting and also a bit nerve-wracking. Once he gets the CR-1 visa (fingers crossed), we can start mentally preparing to move back to California. Which is scary…and leads me to the next update, which is that it has been a lot harder to find part-time/freelance work than I thought. Which may mean that I have to resort to English teaching…not my ideal choice of work.
I’ve started a front-end development course at Thinkful, which is pretty exciting so far. My first project was to re-create the Google homepage from scratch, meaning writing all the HTML and CSS myself. Web development is so interesting and challenging, and since I love solving problems, I can see myself learning a ton from this course and hopefully being able to apply my new knowledge and skills to projects or job-hunting when I return. In the back of my head, though, I’m always thinking, “Is this it? Or am I going to get bored again when I don’t feel challenged enough and switch careers YET AGAIN?” It is a bit frustrating that I still haven’t figured out what I want/can do long-term. But if there’s one thing that I’ve learned in China, it’s that things don’t always work out the way you expect them to, and you just have to learn to adjust. I think I’m pretty well-suited to working from home or in cafes, but I’m in a state of perpetual restlessness and anxiety without a steady flow of income.
I do think that my time here is coming to a close. The longer I stay here, the angrier a person I become, and that’s not fun for anyone. I’m just getting tired of having to be okay with a 6-year old kid peeing into a bottle or on the grass next to me when there’s a bathroom around the corner. Or having to be patient with people who don’t know what lines are. I mean, when someone asks me if I’m in line (usually an expat) and that’s the highlight of my day, it’s a bit sad.
I will end this with a random thought. As disciplined as I try to be, I do spend more time watching YouTube videos, and I’ve kind of fallen in love with Jennifer Lawrence. I love her quick wit and her candidness, and the fact that she doesn’t pretend to be this glamorous, untouchable movie star, but embraces her goofy, clumsy self. Sometimes I wish we could be best friends. We would bond over making no excuses for our love of food, and laugh uncontrollably about all the times we trip over air, or more often in my case, walk into doorways.